Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Blind Joggers Being Sued


21 Feb

Two professional Paralympians Jon and Jason Dunkerley from Canada who were both born blind, are currently facing a personal-injury lawsuit for crashing into another runner on a morning jog along Ottawa's Rideau Canal in 2010.

The athletes are being sued for $350,000 in a statement of claim filed by jogger Mimi Lepage, who has since had to have hip surgery after the crash on the morning of Jan. 24, 2010.

Her statement of claim reports that she will need treatment and therapy for the rest of her life, citing tears of the hip, and injuries to an elbow and shoulder. None of the allegations have been proven in court.

The collision happened around 10 a.m. on Jan. 24, 2010 along the Rideau Canal jogging path.

The claim reports that after the collision the Dunkerleys fell on top of Lepage, injuring her so badly she had trouble walking and has been unable to tend to housekeeping, let alone run.

“The collision was caused by the negligence of the defendants, Jon and Jason, who, as elite runners and users of the public recreational path, owed a duty to other users of the path not to create a risk or harm to those users,'' the statement of claim alleges.

This Funny Lawsuit against the blind runners also alleges they were “running at an unsafe speed given the circumstances, including their abilities, their method of communicating with their guides, the terrain of the path, the size of their running group, and the number of other users of the path at the time.''

The lawsuit also alleges that the running group attempted “to pass other users of the recreational path when it was unsafe to do so'' and that the nine-member formation failed to share the popular jogging path.

Lepage's statement of claim alleges that the blind runners “owed a duty of care to other users of the recreational path not to create a hazard or situation of danger that the other users cannot avoid.''

The claim also states that the running group failed to “take other evasive measures to avoid striking Ms. Lepage.''

Lepage also named her son, born in 2002, as a plaintiff in the claim. In that part of the claim she has cited “loss of care, guidance and companionship.''

Reached Thursday, Jon Dunkerley, 31, told the Ottawa Citizen that he feels “horrible'' about what happened to Lepage but said it was an accident. He said he is seeking legal advice with the full intention of vigorously defending himself, as is his brother.

Rick Ross vs… Rick Ross?


20 Nov

Rick Ross vs Rick RossWe’re not sure how the court proceedings would work or even what the hell you’d do in the actual event (clones, perhaps?), but it can apparently be done. But first, you need a few things if you’re going to shout in a mirror at yourself and demand money, all before a judge who will grade the magnificent performance.

Fame. This can be any kind of course, via criminal or legitimate activity. Still, fame is the most essential ingredient and it was also the most important, if not key element, for the rapper Rick Ross. Actually, the guy is not suing himself, but instead being sued by “Freeway” Ricky Ross. The difference? One’s a drug dealer, one’s a rapper.

“Freeway” Ricky Ross is actually among the list of top drug lords to have ever trafficked the finest coke money could buy. In his eyes, his name and reputation were promptly stolen by artist Rick Ross. This could be argued as inspiration, but Freeway doesn’t see this as being so. To him, this is thievery of the highest grade. And certainly to a drug dealer, theft is impossibly wicked!

Freeway actually went as far as trying to make this Federal, as well as bringing down Def Jam, Jay-Z, and Universal Music Group. Why? Because those thieving scumbags quite literally stole his name. Freeway never said if Def Jam had to break a locker combination to grab the goods, but he probably doesn’t need to because damn it, the law must be obeyed!

Ultimately, the artist Rick Ross won, Sir Freeway not earning a single dime. This was a load off of Def Jam and Universal, but Jay-Z didn’t care the slightest. Now, why did it fail? In the judge’s own words, a life of crime cannot establish a “secondary meaning”. If this is true, then how is Franc Lucas making his cash? Not on 110th St, obviously.

Source: Rising Stars

A Backwards Lawsuit


13 Oct

A Backwards LawsuitPicture this: you’re the biggest baseball fan in the world. Possibly the universe. So, you pick out your favorite team, which we’ll say are the White Sox, and decide to permanently ink a reminder somewhere on your body. After hours of choosing a place, you finally arrive to your thigh (or somewhere else silly like that) and head to the nearest parlor.

On the way there, you can’t help but think that this whole thing could be a very bad idea, but hey, it’s not like you’re doing it for football or some loser team like the Chiefs. Ahead, you see a tattoo shop, lights gleaming bright with anticipation for the next costumer – you. Hesitantly, but joyous, you arrive inside and drunkenly oblige the artist to put an everlasting ink splotch on your thigh.

There’s one problem after he’s done: it’s backwards. An inept tattoo artist just slapped on the White Sox logo backwards and this is the worst possible thing in the world (quite possibly the universe) to happen to you. Eugenia Bebis, a fan of the Chicago team, is suing The Mystic for damages up to $50,000. Even with possibility of a reward, she’ll still be undergoing a fancy treatment. To quote the victim’s attorney, “The way she explained it, they are burning the tattoo off with a laser beam.”

Source: Chicago Breaking News Center

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