Posted by Jake
November 20, 2010
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We’re not sure how the court proceedings would work or even what the hell you’d do in the actual event (clones, perhaps?), but it can apparently be done. But first, you need a few things if you’re going to shout in a mirror at yourself and demand money, all before a judge who will grade the magnificent performance.
Fame. This can be any kind of course, via criminal or legitimate activity. Still, fame is the most essential ingredient and it was also the most important, if not key element, for the rapper Rick Ross. Actually, the guy is not suing himself, but instead being sued by “Freeway” Ricky Ross. The difference? One’s a drug dealer, one’s a rapper.
“Freeway” Ricky Ross is actually among the list of top drug lords to have ever trafficked the finest coke money could buy. In his eyes, his name and reputation were promptly stolen by artist Rick Ross. This could be argued as inspiration, but Freeway doesn’t see this as being so. To him, this is thievery of the highest grade. And certainly to a drug dealer, theft is impossibly wicked!
Freeway actually went as far as trying to make this Federal, as well as bringing down Def Jam, Jay-Z, and Universal Music Group. Why? Because those thieving scumbags quite literally stole his name. Freeway never said if Def Jam had to break a locker combination to grab the goods, but he probably doesn’t need to because damn it, the law must be obeyed!
Ultimately, the artist Rick Ross won, Sir Freeway not earning a single dime. This was a load off of Def Jam and Universal, but Jay-Z didn’t care the slightest. Now, why did it fail? In the judge’s own words, a life of crime cannot establish a “secondary meaning”. If this is true, then how is Franc Lucas making his cash? Not on 110th St, obviously.
Source: Rising Stars
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Posted in Frivolous Lawsuits
| Tags: celebrity, crime, def, freeway, funny, group, jam, lawsuit, life, meaning, music, of, rick, ricky, ross, secondary, universal
Posted by Jake
November 7, 2010
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This little gem appeared online recently and not only given its content but whom the actual lawsuit involves, it guarantees hilarious reactions. Someone who’s not very famous at all named Sacha Baron Cohen decided to make a film about his fictional character, “Bruno”. For one of the film’s gags, he attended a Proposition 8 rally and of course, attempted to offend and irritate as many people as possible.
This did not going without consequence, however. While attending the rally, Cohen and his crew apparently assaulted a protester simply for “laughs” and filmic value. It didn’t go over very well and now, a man named Mark Skiff, is suing Cohen over punitive damages and medical expenses.
According to the gay cameraman, Skiff asserts that Cohen deliberately held negative banners and posters to incite anger and mob-mentality in the gathering. When asked why, Skiff replied that it was “to enhance the drama” of what the team could’ve captured on film. In his closing statement, Mark added that he has, “the right to go about his business free from violence and intimidation directed at his sexual orientation.”
Source: Justice News Flash
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Posted in Celebrity Lawsuits
| Tags: 8, baron, bruno, celebrity, cohen, gay, hilarious, lawsuit, proposition, protest, sacha
Posted by Jake
November 7, 2010
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Something wonderful about America happens to be the judicial system. Even more breathtaking and triumphant are the legislative branches and the inspiring laws it makes. Especially if you’re in California! If you’ve ever had a rainy day, you could move to the west coast, because in CA, sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. Hurricanes and storms are immediately held accountable for breaking this law. The rule has its heart in the right place, but it was dumb to assume that only people would be preventing bounties of sunshine.
In Blythe, you’re not allowed to wear Cowboy boots unless you happen to already posses at least two cows. This dumb California law is good for weeding out imposter’s. In Baldwin Park, no one is permitted to ride their bike in swimming pools. You can see Johnny Noxville having issues with this, especially when his film’s reviews go down the drain because the director isn’t allowed to tape him and his buddies using a 12-gear mountain bike in an Olympic swimming pool.
Source: SanDiegoNewsNetwork
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Posted in Weird Laws
| Tags: baldwin, blythe, boots, California, cowboy, cows, dumb, hilarious, laws, masses, park, sunshine, two, weird
Posted by Jake
November 7, 2010
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Divorce. Say it again, but this time, slower: divorce. You could go for a round of threes, but I’d recommend against it. It’s 2010 and nothing is more interesting than statistics in such a staggering time. Before going over some actual statistics on divorce, you may want these to tie them into it. Here are some “practical reasons” (as quoted from various sources) why it’s time for a man to get a divorce.
Listing off a few in no order: you come home to find that food stamps have replaced the usual spot where your dinner plate is. Or, perhaps, your wife makes holiday plans… that don’t include you. Lastly, but most importantly, you notice your wife’s photo framed in your house and your friend’s. Alright, it’s all fun and chuckles, but now on to some factual results. Recommendation for a lawyer is good practice once you view these statistics.
The current divorce rate in America is roughly 50%. That means between you and your friend, one of you is very likely to separate. Scratch that: one of you will separate. But, for whatever reason, don’t look to a higher power to resolve your issues. In fact, that’s the worst possible thing you could do. According to a recent survey, divorce rates among Christians were significantly higher than other faith groups. You could say “hail Mary”, but in the end, you’ll only being hailing your Mary for a limited amount of time (or Susy, Jane, whatever your better half’s name is).
Divorce rates are also high for affluent couples. Take, for example, the prominent Rollins family. They created Rollins Inc., one of the nation’s largest pest control companies. The family is now in turmoil after Mrs Ruth Rollins lawyer-ed up and divorced her husband of 45 years Mr Gary Rollins. Two days prior to the divorce filing, Mr Rollins’ own children filed suit against him over the family trusts. If these two decided to cut ties after 45 years of bliss, what are the odds for the rest of us?
Source(s): Religious Tolerance, ScribD, Atlanta Family Law News
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Posted in Celebrity Lawsuits
| Tags: 2010, better, Control, divorce, Family, lawsuits, lawyers, Orkin, Pest, Rollins, statistics, worse
Posted by Jake
November 3, 2010
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What happens when you combine redneck technicians, sexual discrimination and racial slurs? Either another episode of South Park or, and least preferably, a lawsuit that ends in crying shame. This one is a bit older, but it’s a little gold nugget that shouldn’t be missed.
Back in 2007, ESPN Sports reports NASCAR settled a lawsuit for 25 million. Why? A woman named Mauricia Grant was not only sexually harassed but subjected to racial slurs and lewd behavior as a technical inspector in NASCAR’s ring. The insults went from “Nappy Head Mo” to “Queen Sheba” by her wonderful co-workers. Apparently, there was even a designated “color people” time.
Initially, NASCAR inspected the issue and promptly fired two employees. The fun doesn’t end there, though. Accusations continued to fly, NASCAR’s own Brian Grant defended his business, ensuring this was never to happen. Grant denied these claims, asserting that she’d climbed the chain of command with no results.
Now, while this is just a plain lawsuit with a few dashes of fame thrown on top, it takes a bizarre twist at the end. Grant, while winning a settlement for a large sum of cash (to pay off all those tears of course) received a phone call. She was contacted by human resources at NASCAR, then fired not long after. The kicker? NASCAR is not disclosing why Grant was fired at all.
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Posted in Dumb Lawsuits
| Tags: discrimination, grant, harassment, lawsuit, lewd, nascar, sexual
Posted by Jake
October 13, 2010
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Picture this: you’re the biggest baseball fan in the world. Possibly the universe. So, you pick out your favorite team, which we’ll say are the White Sox, and decide to permanently ink a reminder somewhere on your body. After hours of choosing a place, you finally arrive to your thigh (or somewhere else silly like that) and head to the nearest parlor.
On the way there, you can’t help but think that this whole thing could be a very bad idea, but hey, it’s not like you’re doing it for football or some loser team like the Chiefs. Ahead, you see a tattoo shop, lights gleaming bright with anticipation for the next costumer – you. Hesitantly, but joyous, you arrive inside and drunkenly oblige the artist to put an everlasting ink splotch on your thigh.
There’s one problem after he’s done: it’s backwards. An inept tattoo artist just slapped on the White Sox logo backwards and this is the worst possible thing in the world (quite possibly the universe) to happen to you. Eugenia Bebis, a fan of the Chicago team, is suing The Mystic for damages up to $50,000. Even with possibility of a reward, she’ll still be undergoing a fancy treatment. To quote the victim’s attorney, “The way she explained it, they are burning the tattoo off with a laser beam.”
Source: Chicago Breaking News Center
2 Comments
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Posted in Funny Lawsuits
| Tags: artist, backwards, baseball, bebis, chicago, funny, law, lawsuit, sox, tatoo, weird, white
Posted by Jake
October 13, 2010
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There are quite a few dumb or just plain weird laws out there in the world. Stumbling on these two ensures nothing but laughs, strange faces and concern for the sanity of humanity. Did you know that in New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is death? No, wait, there’s one more: in Danville, Pennsylvania, all fire hydrants must be checked one hour before fires… because, you know, we can predict the time a fire starts and check our extinguishing tools beforehand.
Source: itThing
1 Comment
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Posted in Weird Laws
| Tags: danville, fire, fires, hilarious, hydrant, laws, lawsuits, new, penn, pennsylvania, weird, york
Posted by Jake
September 22, 2010
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A woman has recently plead guilty to a lawsuit that, apparently, never happened. The scheme started out as simple fraud, but eventually spun into a web of misinformation and lies. Taking a deep look at what actually happened, you can’t help but feel irritated for the victims. The case spans a four year period with plenty of people involved, from 2004 – 2008.
It started in 2004, with the woman attempting to scheme people, in and out of state, by claiming she was involved in battery cases, but not quite having the money for attorney fees. An accomplice, or “co-schemer”, would even go as far as sending letters that the woman had been involved in a violent assault at work. Of course it was then explained that the employer was to be sued and members of the non-existent “family” would sue as well. [more...]
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Posted in Fake Lawsuits
| Tags: Fake Lawsuit, Family, Jefferson County, Katherine Hope Lane, Scheme
Posted by Jake
August 30, 2010
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This is a real complaint and “law suit” filed by one prisoner of South Carolina. It’s actually so ridiculous, I had a hard time believing it to be true. But this just takes the cake and is easily one of the most fascinatingly ridiculous claims I’ve ever read in my life. Enough of the bantering, let’s take a look at ‘Riches vs Vick’.
According to Above The Law, plaintiff Jonathan Riches has been increasingly irritated by Micheal Vick (yes, the football player). In fact, Mr. Riches, while in prison, was able to determine that Micheal Vick has “pledged allegiance to the Al-Qaeda”, “is in the steroid business”, “subjected him to microwave testing” and even “uses drugs in school zones”. Of course all of this hadn’t take place before the stay at prison, but according to Riches, these things had identity theft (of Riches), illegal dog fighting, extortion, racketeering and tax fraud. [more...]
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Posted in Dumb Lawsuits
| Tags: Backed by Gold and Silver, Conspiracy, Constitution, Extortion, Michael Vick, Prison, Prisoner, South Carolina, Tax Fraud
Posted by Jake
August 10, 2010
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This, more so than anything, qualifies under the “weird” branch. Thinking anyone would be around to see this was unlikely, but it happened anyway. You may remember a few months back when Arizona wrote in a new law against immigration concerning the Mexican border.
There was much protest and deliberation over the law. Some even found it unconstitutional. One of the parties that found the new legislation all but constitutional had been the Federal Government. Instead of debating with Arizona, the Federal Justice Department sued.
And who did they sue? Arizona. Apparently, the lawsuit was anticipated since mid-June and comes from beneath the Obama administration. The main complaint of the administration was that Arizona’s law denies the Federal Government control and supremacy over immigration control… But, wasn’t there a place in the constitution that allowed states to defend their borders?
Arizona’s new law was supposed to take effect sometime around July 29th, but this suit prevents it from doing so. The news is somewhat old, but because we happen to be only a week after the initial induction date of the ill-fated law, an update was required. We’ll have to wait and see, however. No word has been mentioned since the new “state-vs-the-union” event.
Source: New York Times
1 Comment
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Posted in Weird Lawsuits
| Tags: Arizona Immigration Law, New York Times, SB 1070, SB1070, Senate Bill 1070
Posted by Jake
July 31, 2010
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Blogs are powerful weapons, especially when you infringe copyright on… yourself. You would assume that the due process of law wouldn’t allow this to happen. Then again, we’ve all been told what assuming makes you and I both look like.
Anthony Curtis, the owner of a Las Vegas blog, is being sued for using material from a Righthaven news source in his online journal. The most entertaining twist of this entire situation? The material Anthony “stole” was his own.
Mr. Curtis created a survey for Las Vegas, sharing said information with Righthaven and their newspaper. He was then sued for using portions of his own work from the article he contributed to. Critics of the foolhardy lawsuit have agreed that public domain should apply, but that isn’t changing the plaintiff’s mind.
Source: TheBlogLawBlog
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Posted in Dumb Lawsuits
| Tags: Anthony Curtis Blog, Las Vegas Blog, Public Domain, Righthaven
Posted by Jake
July 13, 2010
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Jimmy Page is absolutely infamous for being involved in infringement cases. They range from miscellaneous tidbits to entire songs. Usually, when the lawsuit is processed through court, it’s around the actual time upon which the crime occurred. According to Jake Holmes, this is incorrect. You see, in the wonderful world of legal matters, anything goes.
About thirty years ago or so, Led Zepplin got the brilliant idea to make this little ditty, “Dazed and Confused”, for one of their albums. Unsurprisingly, the song was a success and became a cult-favorite amongst Zep fans. The overall problem with this is that, undeniably, the song takes elements from Jake Holmes’ “Dazed & Confused”.
It’s interesting to note that “Dazed & Confused” by Jake Holmes has no percussion line. Led Zepplin’s, or more so Jimmy Page’s creation, contains a solid beat. However, the most interesting thing about these songs, about the case, about the content are the time frames. A quick look shows us that Zep’s “Dazed & Confused” came out a year or so after the original version… and Jake Holmes is suing in 2010. Yes, now we’re dazed and ultimately confused – would you wait over three decades for a lawsuit.
Source: Ultimate-Guitar.com
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Posted in Frivolous Lawsuits
| Tags: Albums, Cult-Favorite, Dazed and Confused, Jake Holmes, Jimmy Page, Led Zepplin, Zep
Posted by Jake
July 4, 2010
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Ah, the Star Wars lightsaber. Just brings back the good ol’ days, huh? Not when you’re a company who’s under a lawsuit threat from Lucasfilm Ltd. You see kids, those lightsabers y’all thought were make-believe, well, aren’t. An industry by the name of Wicked Lasers has recently created a “highly dangerous” Class IV laser (the kind that can burn skin) mounted in a handle… I.E., a sword handle.
Apparently, Mr. Lucas wasn’t very happy with this and decided that the best course of action was to round up a few dozen lawyers to reclaim all value infringed upon by Wicked Lasers. According to Lucasfilm Ltd., “It has come to our attention that a company called Wicked Lasers is selling a highly dangerous product out of Hong Kong that is designed to look like a lightsaber from Star Wars…”. Ah, now the punch-line, “…This product is not licensed or approved by Lucasfilm in any way. We have demanded that Wicked Lasers immediately cease and desist their infringing activities.”
The device in question, the Arctic Spyder III, came along with safety information as well as a foray of pictures, including some ‘interesting’ cautionary advice: “Don’t let the Arctic name fool you, this laser possesses the most burning capabilities of any portable laser in existence. That’s why it’s also the most dangerous laser ever created.” Could it very well be that Wicked Lasers intended to infringe on the Stars Wars brand? Or was it the mere comfortable packaging of the sword itself that inspired the design? We’ll see how the case works out. Lord forbid some adolescent dreamer get his hands on the Arctic Spyder III - may the force be with him.
Source: EON News
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Posted in Weird Lawsuits
| Tags: 3, arctic, III, lasers, law, lawsuit, light, lightsaber, ltd, lucasfilms, saber, spyder, suit, three, wicked
